My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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