Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
