Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
