He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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