Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
