He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You were trust falling into bushes
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
