I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
