I hate all girls vehemently.
People in love make me want to vomit
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
