so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize