you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
