He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
