**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
