I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
