i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
