Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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