I smell stomach acid.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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