You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
