I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
