you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
