? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
