please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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