The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
