if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
