how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize