Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
her vagine was all disorganized.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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