A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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