what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Everything about him screamed your future.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
