I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She's the barista slut.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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