wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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