upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He kissed a someone with a penis
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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