3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
