dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
