I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
