remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
