We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
