Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
