is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
