My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
