Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
