there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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