okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Randomize
