So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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