Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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