Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
