this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
