i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
do herpes really smell.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
