Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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