The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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