HIV tests are more positive than that guy
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
