Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
