Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize