I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
