Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
