This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
