Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
