I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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