Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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