Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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