I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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