An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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