Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She even gives head with a lisp.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
