Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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