i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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