this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
