Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
