I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize