I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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