My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Panties = found
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