I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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