Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
