I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
