just come out here and I will go home with you...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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