i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
