The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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