never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
